let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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