Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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