you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
