i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just pee around me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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