just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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