so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
worst night to have a conscience
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
