the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
