just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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