My first STD was from a foam party
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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