Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
