What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
