She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize