420 ftw
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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