"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
