it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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