He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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