My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize