I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize