Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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