She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
