When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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