But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
