I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
