Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
