ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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