He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
