Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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