:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
