Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
