come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
