what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
