It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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