I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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