My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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