Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
