this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize