rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
