I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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