My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
