you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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