He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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