I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
