I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
