I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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