We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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