Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
