I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
