So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
