He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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