They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
