Did you just see the Batmobile???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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