1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
