I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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