The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize