Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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