The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
