We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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