so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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