Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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