Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
