is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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