Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
