Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize