I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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