we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
