I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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