One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
