i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
