I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
