I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
