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• (516): View more from New York

  Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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• (212): View more from New York

  yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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• (903): View more from Texas

  So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.

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• (315): View more from New York

  yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!

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