If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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