last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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