Your face is a jimmy john
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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