just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
