I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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