My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Michael Bay diarrhea
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
