matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize